Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Cafe Preggers

Instead of enjoying a much needed afternoon nap, I dove head first into a massive pile of papers begging to be filed. I've never been really good at keeping the filing pile minimal, but it's also never really bothered me...before. Now it bothers to me to end that one corner of my bedroom has become overrun by a mountain of loan statements, receipts, tax documents, etc. I'm pretty sure it's a result of needing to find all of the extra space possible in order to welcome baby #3 to our home without resorting to putting him/her in the bathtub...and as we all know, clutter takes up more space.

Sooo, after about 30 minutes into my filing extravaganza, I undercovered an issue of Babytalk magazine. Of course, I had to stop my efforts and read through the magazine real quick before I threw it in the "garbage pile" (plus, I had to take a potty break--boy, I forgot just how small the bladder gets when a baby is competing for space). And written on the last page was a menu from "Cafe Preggers"....I thought it was just too funny not to share. Hope you enjoy it just as much as I did.

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Cafe Preggers
We always have just what you want, at any stage of pregnancy--from the queasy beginning to those last weeks when the baby has taken up every ounce of spare room in your belly.
First Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Turns compote
Entree
Fresh Saltines on a bed of Saltines, lightly seasoned with Saltines
Beverage
Ginger ale (IV drip available upon request)
Dessert
Ten minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head
Second Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Half a roast chicken, extra crispy
Entree*
A succulent leg of lamb smothered in pork chops, served with BBQ ribs and garnished with cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for your safety)
Beverage
Toll House-pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream
Dessert
9"x16" pan of double-fudge brownies
Third Trimester Menu
(Each course followed by a 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break)
Appetizer
Three bites of tossed salad
Entree
Two bites of lasagna
Beverage
None-so you'll have room for dessert
Dessert
A Tic Tac
*Double portions available if you're expecting twins
Photobucket

2 comments:

Trisha said...

Ha! If that isn't the truth! Thanks for the laugh. :)

Jason and Aubrie Spangler said...

That is too cute! And true from my experiencce so far. :) Thanks for posting it and for a good laugh!