Friday, October 10, 2008

Fat Ticker Friday (HFH)-Week 3

I'm so frustrated that I'm not sure whether to scream or cry. This week was a very busy week for Randy, keeping him at the hospital until late most nights of the week. Therefore, I was only able to make it to the gym 3 of 7 days. I had fully prepared myself for the possibility reality that Hubs wouldn't make it home many nights before the gym closed, but what I wasn't prepared for was the emotional rollercoaster that I found myself riding on earlier in the week.

I'm still learning how to be at home with Josiah and Laney. And lately, I truely believe that it has been Josiah's mission to drive me absolutely crazy! I know deep down in my heart that his defiance, strong will to do things "myself", and just plain ol' running around non-stop (and loudly) is just part of being 2 years old. But there is only so much that I can take! I'm also still nursing Laney. And she must have sensed my stress because she wanted nothing to do with nursing. Unfortunately for her, I'm far from ready to give up and just give her formula. So I tried and tried and tried, resulting in feeling more stressed (anyone who knows me, knows about my love-hate relationship with breastfeeding--but it's very important to me, so I keep going), but we did get it. Sooo, if it weren't for the fact that I'm losing my hair due to my hormones "normalizing" after having had a baby, I would have definitely pulled some hair out earlier this week.

But what's unfortunate is that I've always been an emotional eater. So when my best friend (AKA Randy) was not around much earlier in the week to deflect the craziness of caring for two small children, I turned to another, quite familiar, And honestly, my food choices were not that bad. There was only one night where I splurged a little....a couple servings of Reduced Fat Nilla Wafers and a couple of WW Twinkies. Whoa, I know, heavy stuff, right? I have purposefully banished any and all really good bad foods from the house, leaving behind whole wheat mini bagels with whipped strawberry yogurt spread, rice cakes with PB, Special K cereal with strawberries and vanilla soy milk.
So as a result of feeling guilty for eating more than one WW twinkie and a serving of RF Nilla Wafers on Saturday night, I kicked my own @#% during my "dates" with the treadmill, burning approx. 400-500 calories each workout. My week looked like this:
While I was not able to meet my goal of "checking in" at the gym for 4/7 days, I was able to meet my goal and kick out 3M runs this week with a "push it" day where I completed 4M, at a slightly faster pace. Forgetting briefly about my food drunkeness on Saturday, I was proud of myself.
Okay, you've heard enough of my HFH Fat Ticker Friday Report = 1lb. GAIN.
I'm only 50% sure why the flux in the "wrong" direction. This is what's odd....during my first week of the challenge, when I only made it to the gym 1 day and only ran 2M, I had NO change. And this week, I make it to the gym 3 days, run 3-4M each day, and I GAIN a pound? Not sure where the fairness is. Maybe I gained a little bit of muscle since I've started running further? Maybe I'm getting closer to TOM? Maybe I ate more than I realized (the most reasonable explanation, of course)?
No doubt that I'm feeling a little less than motivated/inspired to keep going.....but no worries fellow HFH comrades, this fat lady is not ready to "sing" quite yet. My inspiration to keep it up is knowing that there will be weeks where the weight loss/gain makes NO sense, that I've done this before--lost all of the weight gained from my previous pregnancy (plus 10 pounds) and completed a 13.1 M race, that I will be expected to stand up (wearing a cute dress) for my little sister when she gets married next summer, and that I will wear a cuuuute bathing suit during our beach vacation when Randy finishes Residency in 3 years (everyone needs a long-term goal, right? But I'll need 3 years to work off the weight gained by another pregnancy).

So there's my did you do this week?


Shelley said...

Boy do I know the feeling! Brody is driving me insane right now. I have a feeling you probably did gain muscle this week. You could be like Christie and have a big loss next week. I'm impressed with your snack choices. I need to finish ridding the house of junk. I don't have a lot left. Oh, except the mass quantities of birthday cake for Brody's party tomorrow! Hopefully I'll be so busy entertaining that I won't eat any cake. Ok, I need to stop avoiding the rest of the birthday prep. If you ever need to vent about crazy screaming children, feel free. :) Have a great weekend!

Honey Mommy said...

I am right there with you lady! I gained a pound this week too. It sounds like our kids are close to the same ages. I have a two year old and a seven-month old! Don't worry, my two year old has been driving me crazy too. He wants to be SO independent, but it just doesn't always work. *sigh*

Hang in there! We can lose this weight, dang it!

ciara said...

sometimes we do all we can and still gain. weight will fluctuate day to day and even throughout the day. i always try to weigh myself in the mornings when i get up, but i realize since i get myxedema (swelling) quite often, i usually have to weight til any of the morning swelling goes down. so it's weird to weigh 2 lbs heavier at 9 AM than at 11 AM. you'll find the right formula soon. i see a loss next week :)

Julie said...

I don't know how you stay home with kids all day - I know that sounds bad, but I would be crazy & emotional. I love my little one so much, but sometimes I just need time away. ... needless to say you are also very lucky to be able to stay home with them. I hope you are able to find a balance. I have been working on finding my balance & one day I hope to get there. 1lb isn't so bad, I know it is depressing (I am depressed about my gain this week). ... but things happen & as long as you keep up the good work the weight will come off!

Christie O. said...

ohmigod. i'm reading your post and it was literally like reading about my life. we've had so much going on this week with my husband working late and me not being able to get my runs in, having to work out at home instead, that whole thing, plus my two year old and nursing the little one -- i swear, that was my life this week too! running around like a screaming banshee, little one not wanting to feed, ARRRRGHHHHHH!

oh, how life throws us some fun times, huh? it's ok though, really! it sounds like you're on the right track! you have healthy choices in your home and are still exercising at home, the point is to be healthy and have a healthier lifestyle and you're doing that!! that's awesome! here's to a calmer week all around!!

Sab Mad said...

I feel your pain and have been in your shoes many times!

Good thing the week is over and I know you'll have more success next week!

Laura said...

it was a stressful week but you hung in there in everything that you have going on...good for you! i hope this next week is far better all around. good luck!

Bev said...

I'm applauding you. One, for keeping your patience with the little ones, and two, for running like you did. Keep it up. I'm sure it will pay off.

Jen said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! SO SORRY it's taken me SO long to come drop by yours, but I LOVE IT HERE! I wanna add your blog to my blog roll. Is that alright? I missed the last HFH weigh in (probably b/c I felt gross and fat), but I'm motivated and determined to lose the weight! Thanks for the early Birthday Wish. You are awesome!

Mary Arnold said...

Dude, remember the stress/cortisol relationship and what it does to digestion and the rest of the body. Maybe some weight bearing exercises at home or yoga would give you something to turn to when Randy isn't home early enough for you to go to the gym. I have some old Jane Fonda tapes I could send you!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA just joking..... boy did that give my age away!